Thriving Addiction

First step, admission.

My hesitations usually begin this way. Is there too much swell in the water? Is the tide rising or falling? Is it too windy? The wind does make it a bit chilly… the tide may be too low and the lineup too crowded. I think I feel a headache coming on…

My overly hyper X chromosome usually builds up so many excuses that I can only visualize an all natural and intense “netty pot” session with very little surfing. Ok, I’m ready for a fight with the ocean.

What keeps us going for more? I’ve heard ladies talk about how terrified they are of the ocean, how paralyzed they feel when facing an oncoming wave, being stuck in the impact zone after paddling for a wave, yet we go back for more, the only explanation plausible is that surfing is a drug, a highly addictive drug. I’m not sure myself why I go back for more, my hips and ribs feel bruised but I’m getting in my car, the board is strapped, I’m turning my music on and am going for it again.

I relish in the proud feeling of being on the outside once again. It is a profound feeling and I’m the only one that can make it happen for me. Women have a very short history, if you can even call it that, of being recognized, cheered, celebrated for winning and supported for their physical strength. But at this moment, I know that I am my own cheerleader and push on to get back on the board and go for another wave.

Mental check: Yes, my 6 and 4 year olds are still in school and my 7 month old can’t possibly need me yet, I’ve only been in the water for 2 hours, this is not a fight at all… I’m addicted.